


One More Time

by padfootagain



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Drama, F/M, Feels, Marauders, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 18:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16979337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padfootagain/pseuds/padfootagain
Summary: Your Relationship with Regulus has to remain a secret to avoid troubles with his family. But for how long while you be able to hold on?





	One More Time

**Author's Note:**

> Angst and drama… hope you like it!

You were crying. Again. The tears were falling down your cheeks until they wetted your chin or were trapped by the corners of your mouth, but you couldn’t stop them. They were salty and the bitter taste passed the barriers of your lips to reach your tongue, making you wince. But when you tried to take a deep breath, you merely choked, your body trembling with a sob.

You cursed yourself for being so stupid. You should have never let this Slytherin boy manipulate you into this.

But had he really manipulated ?

He seemed to hate the situation just as much as you did. Still, you had been an idiot, letting him get so close to you when you knew very well what you were signing for… more or less…

You guessed that now you were paying the price.

But at the beginning everything seemed so simple. Regulus was faking a relationship with this Slytherin girl to make his family happy when in reality they barely spoke to each other in Hogwarts. And when you had started this relationship with him, he had promised you that there would be nobody else than you, that this girl meant nothing to him. She was just a pawn he used to make his parents proud of him, and she was using him for the same purpose. And to be completely honest you had not thought about your future with him when you had accepted to play his game and to hide your relationship, to make sure that his parents would not find out about you.

But the more time flew by, the more your feelings for him were growing and soon you had found yourself falling in love with him. But Regulus was not stopping his game and kept on pretending, and you were still left waiting for him to join you in a dusty cupboard, even after months of relationship…

But that was nothing compared to the dreadful news you had just learned, the news responsible for all these tears flowing down your cheeks, the news that had broken your heart.

Regulus was supposed to marry this girl.

Once they would have both graduated, once you would have all finished school, Regulus was supposed to marry her. And then what would you become? His secret lover? No way.

And the worst thing was that Regulus had known about the arrangement between his family and hers for weeks, perhaps even months. But instead of standing against his parents, he had apparently accepted without a complain, bending before their will without a fight. And that was hurting you more than anything.

Because you could understand that his family had expectations towards him that should have been abandoned a century before, you could understand that he didn’t have a choice for now and that it was easier to fake a relationship with a girl he didn’t like than to face his parent’s wrath. But marriage…? Marriage meant so much more! And apparently he hadn’t put up a fight, he hadn’t struggled to find a way to avoid it and to be with you, he hadn’t even _tried_ to escape from this arranged marriage, he had merely accepted.

So what were you to him if he was ready to marry someone else without flinching?

You had let yourself be trapped, you had let him play with your heart and now here you were, distraught.

So much for the wit of Ravenclaws, right?

You took a look at your watch. You were to meet Regulus in a bit more than ten minutes. You dried your cheeks, and you stood up from the ground, opening the door of the toilets you had been hiding in.

Moaning Myrtle slowly flew down by your side. She had too much pity towards you to make the toilets explode or to make a bitter remark, and you felt strangely grateful towards the ghost.

“Boys are all the same,” she said, looking at you. “They’re never good for us.”

“Not going to argue with that today,” you answered, pouring some cold water upon your face in an attempt to cool your eyes that were still burning with tears.

When you looked up at your reflection in the mirror, your eyes were still reddened by your crying, but you guessed that you didn’t have any time left to hide your sorrow.

You had to go and face him.

———————————————————————–

You had to break up with him. There was no other solution, and you knew it. You needed to be strong. You needed to be strong and to end all this. There was no possible future with him, it was useless to have hope for one.

You climbed up the stairs that led to the top of the Astronomy Tower. You knew that Regulus would already be there somehow. Instinct, probably.

You took a deep breath, before walking out of the staircase.

Regulus turned towards you and a welcoming smile formed on his lips at the sight of you.

“Hi!” he grinned. “It’s a bit cold in here, perhaps we should go to the kitchens later on, what do you think?”

He extended his arm so you could melt against his chest like you always did. But not this time. This time, you remained standing a few steps away from him, out of arms length, and Regulus frowned hard.

“Is there something wrong?” he asked, letting his arm fall back by his side.

“Yes, there is,” you nodded.

“What is it?”

“You.”

He raised an eyebrow, a perplexed expression on his face.

“Me?” he asked.

“Yeah, you. I… I know everything, Reg,” you said, your jaw and fists clenched. “When did you plan to tell me about this?”

“About what?”

“The fact that you’re supposed to get married with the girl you pretend to have no interest in!”

Your voice was not louder than before. Your tone was just frozen. It was sharp as steel, and it cut through his chest like a knife.

He swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure, but you could see him flinching.

“Where did you hear that?” he asked.

“I heard rumours,” you said. “And I went to ask to a few of your friends who are close enough to your family to know this kind of things, and they told me that it was all true.”

“I can explain…”

“What are you going to try to explain,” you interrupted him, your face distorted by both anger and pain. “The facts speak for themselves!”

“Y/N…”

“You said that nothing was happening between the two of you!”

“Because nothing is happening between her and me.”

“No, you’re right, you’re just going to marry her!”

He could see withheld tears shining in your eyes and for a moment he wished you were shouting at him. He craved for this violent and burning anger he had faced before when this cold wrath piercing through his whole being was something new to him, and was somehow much worse than your cries. Your tone was so acidic, it was shaking his entire being.

“Look, Y/N,” he said softly, his tone soothing. “I don’t intend to be with her.”

“Why didn’t you refuse then?”

“My parents didn’t really ask for my opinion.”

“You should have given them your opinion anyway!”

“It’s not that easy. But I’m going to find a way to make them change their minds, don’t worry.”

“Don’t worry?! DON’T WORRY?! Are you serious?! I’ve just learned that my boyfriend is going to marry someone else, so I reckon that I’m right to freak out right now!”

He rested his hands on your upper arms, but you shrugged him off.

“Y/N, listen to me for a second…”

“No, Reg, I’m not going to listen to you! I’ve listened enough! I should have never agreed to all this in the first place!”

“Don’t say that,” Regulus begged you. “You know that you’re the only one….”

“Yeah, the only one you throw in cupboards, right?”

“Don’t be so mad…”

“Of course I’m mad!”

“I’m not going to marry her.”

“But this will never end, Reg!” you replied, your voice suddenly tightening as tears finally escaped your eyes and wetted your cheeks. “This will never end! As long as you don’t stand before your family and tell them about me, this… _all this_ will never end! And I’ll always be the girl you snog in dark corners and fuck in secret, and she will always be the one you walk with and show to everyone. I’m just a shadow to you…”

“No, you’re not… Of course not! You’re wrong, Y/N.”

“Then promise me that you will talk with your parents and tell them about me, about everything.”

But Regulus clenched his jaw.

“It’s not that easy, Y/N. And you know it.”

“Well, guess what? Learning that you were engaged wasn’t easy either! Hiding all that is happening between us for months, even to my best friends, it wasn’t easy either!”

“If I tell them everything about you, they will never forgive me!”

“Perhaps it would be for the better.”

His jaw clenched even more tightly, his grey eyes now glaring at you.

“They’re my family, Y/N.”

“Reg…”

“Sirius abandoned them already! Everything is on me now!”

“You know that he was right to leave,” you said.

“You know nothing about my brother,” he breathed, his voice shaking with anger and frustration.

“I know that you’re too scared to make the same choice as the one he did for himself. That you’re scared to leave…”

“Y/N, my parents are counting on me…”

“You’re just scared…”

“And what then?! When I leave Grimmauld Place just like Sirius did, what I am going to do? We’re not the same him and I. I don’t have a best friend who will welcome me to his home…”

“You have me!”

He didn’t answer for a few seconds, so you went on.

“You could leave your family and come with me,” you offered. “You could come to my house, I’m sure that my parents would accept. We’d be together!”

But he shook his head slowly, taking your hands in his.

“It’s… What you’re talking about is impossible, Y/N,” he breathed, walking closer to you, and this time you didn’t back away.

“No, it’s not… Sirius did it, you can do it as well!”

“My parents are expecting things from me, okay? And… I’m the only one left… And…”

His voice seemed to break, and you stared at his grey eyes that seemed terrified now.

“You weren’t there Y/N,” he went on. “You weren’t there when Sirius left. You didn’t see how my parents acted with him. How our mother burnt his name in the tapestry, how our father… tried to stop him…”

He closed his eyes very tightly, so tightly that for a moment, the darkness brought by his closed eyelids became white. But he had to, if he wanted to hold back his tears.

He could hear all the shouts again…

“You weren’t there…” Regulus went on, opening his eyes again and you could see so much horror in these two grey orbs. “Maybe you’re right, maybe I’m just too scared to do it, but you can’t judge me for it. You weren’t there. And my parents… they won’t let me go that easily. Do you think that Sirius merely ran away? I can tell you that they made him pay for it. And I’m clearly not ready to pay the price like Sirius did. I can’t leave. I can’t leave because I’m scared to do so, you’re right. I can’t leave because Sirius abandoned me there, and now I’m the only one left. And I can’t leave because… no matter what they do or think or say, they’re still my parents. And if Sirius didn’t make them proud, then I will have to do it in his stead.”

You stared at him for a while, speechless, your mind blank for words.

What were you supposed to say now?

“I will find a way to avoid being married with her, I promise,” he went on. “But for now, I need to accept without making a scene. It’s the only chance we’ll have. My parents won’t give up on that idea as long as they think that she’s perfect for me.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I’ll have to break her reputation.”

“Reg! You can’t do that, that’s not her fault!”

“It’s the only way!”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I’m just going to convince my parents that she’s not good enough for the family.”

“How are you going to do that?”

He bit his lower lip.

“I… I’m not sure just yet. But I will find something, okay?”

“Reg…”

He took your face between his hands, his thumbs softly robbing your cheeks.

“You don’t have to worry about all this, okay?” he said, his voice softer again.

“You didn’t even talk to me about this… how can I know that I can trust you at all. I shouldn’t trust you. I should have never trusted you…”

“Don’t say that,” he stopped you. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do though! What was I thinking when I accepted to do all this…”

“I love you, Y/N!”

You fell silent, your mouth still open.

He had never said that to you before…

“I love you!” he said again, tightening his hold your face. “I’m not going to marry her, and I’m not going to lose you. I promise. But I need more time.”

“Why didn’t you tell me everything in the first place? Don’t you trust me at all?”

“Of course I trust you. I trust you more than I trust anyone in this world, and I’m certain that you know it.”

“You should have told me.”

“I… I didn’t want you to leave me… I’ve already been abandoned before but I couldn’t for you, not… not you,” he admitted, his voice so low you could barely hear it. “I didn’t want all that has happened tonight to happen. I told you, I’m going to find a solution.”

“What if you don’t find any solution?”

“I’m going to find one. I’m going to find a solution.”

“And then you’ll talk to your parents about us?”

“Yes, I will.”

He rested his forehead against yours and you didn’t push him away. One of your hands came resting upon his chest, your fingers wrapping around his green tie, your other hand running through his dark hair.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said again. “I’m not going to leave you, I promise. You’re the only one in my heart and it’s not going to change,”

You heaved a sigh as his hands left your cheeks to rest on the small of your back, and he pulled you closer to him.

You nuzzled your head against his neck, and he held you even more tightly against him.

“I’m not going to lose you,” he went on, whispering in your ear, and you couldn’t help but close your eyes. “I’m not going to let you go.”

“I love you too, Reg,” your tone was matching his, your voice just a whisper. “But I’m not sure about all this…”

“Just give me a chance. Just one. Please, Y/N.”

You heaved a sigh.

“Don’t let me down, Reg.”

“I won’t.”

“Hold me tighter…”

He rested his lips against your forehead, tightening his embrace.

“We’re going to overcome this together,” he whispered against your skin.

“This hiding thing won’t last forever, right?”

“No, it won’t last forever. Just a few more weeks and everything will be alright.”

“That’s your last chance, you know?”

He nodded slowly.

“It’s going to be alright.”

“You have to do something about your parents, Reg. I mean… you can’t let them dictate all your life like that.”

“Y/N… I told you…”

“Yes, yes, I heard you. I heard everything you said, but… this can’t keep on going like that. What’s the next step? You joining the Death Eaters?”

He didn’t reply, merely pressing a kiss against your lips.

“Now… can we try to spend a nice night?” he asked softly, running a hand through your hair.

“Okay,” you nodded, resting your head against his shoulder again.

You remained standing there for a long time, held tightly against his chest.

And you were ready to believe him. One more time…


End file.
